Today's product: DeKuyper's Sour Apple Pucker.
Man do I love this stuff. You see, I drink a little bit of alcohol because statistically speaking, moderate drinkers do better in life, have more fun, make mor money, live longerr etc. But I don't like wyne or beeer. So back win I were a teenager (shhhhhh!) I discoverd appel puker nd is gud stiff.
Plush as wee al kno, Jesus drank two!
P.S. This post demonstrates simulated drunkenness. I was a no point impaired in most of the usual ways. "What the eff does that mean" you say? Exactly.